Tag Archives: leadership

Forgiveness Exemplified

Chaplain (Colonel) Niels C. Carlsen

My father-in-law, Niels Christian Carlsen, was a great man.  I’ve never met a man who loved and cared for people like him.  He was always in a good mood even when he wasn’t.  He was very kind all the time.  And he had a wonderful sense of humor.  He was one of those people who could even laugh at himself.  He was a church planter and pastor and had a career in the Air Force as a chaplain.

There was a time years ago when my wife and I and our children lived in Guatemala.  We relished our time there. The country and its people are beautiful.  I will say though that driving there was a challenge for this American.  In the U.S. we learn defensive driving.  You drive always being on the defensive for what the other person may do.  I found that in Guatemala to drive effectively you had to drive offensively.  That fits well with my personality.  I’m always on the offensive.

One time when my in-laws came to visit us, we took a trip out into the interior of the country.  They were certainly not used to or comfortable with an offensive style of driving.  I get it.  If you drove in the U.S. like most of the rest of the world does, people would not like it very much.  Needless to say, as I drove offensively, it frightened my in-laws. If you aren’t used to that type of driving, it can really be unnerving.  I’m currently visiting Lebanon.  I’d say the driving here is even more on the offensive than in Guatemala.  I find myself getting a little on edge with the driving.

I didn’t know that it bothered my in-laws so much because I was just driving the way that I always drove there.  At one point my father-in-law said to me something along the lines of, “I don’t appreciate the way you are driving; don’t you care for the safety of your family?”  I did take offense to that.  I stopped the car and had my wife take over on the return trip.  I didn’t say another word.

Soon after we got home there was something going on at church that I needed to attend.  I went out to the car and was getting ready to back out of the driveway when my father-in-law came out and asked if he could go with me to church.  I said, “of course.”  As soon as he got in the car, he apologized for what he said.  I apologized for scaring them.  What could’ve hurt our relationship didn’t. My father-in-law lived out biblical forgiveness.  

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as also God forgave you in Christ.”Ephesians 4:32

“Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”  James 5:16

Not only did my father-in-law live out those verses, but he also lived out Matthew 18 where it says for us to go directly to the one we have a problem with. Niels gave me a great example that I strive to emulate.

Leadership Lessons: Mission First, People Always

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528th USAAG

When I was in the U.S. Army, I deployed to Turkey in 1982. I was assigned to the 528th United States Army Artillery Group.  The commander of the unit had a saying that I’ve found helpful in my life since that deployment about 30 years ago.  He regularly said that one of the organizations chief values was, “Mission first, people always.” You’ve got to accomplish the mission or you’ve got to reach certain goals and standards. But, if you don’t care for the people, you’re not going to be able to accomplish the mission because it is through the people that the mission is accomplished. So, you’ve got to care about your people.

I’ve worked for people that did not have that philosophy of leadership. They were the type of people who would just chew people up and out. They lead by intimidation. It was all about accomplishing their goals. Subordinates had to be forced to do what they wanted done, no matter the cost. Those kinds of people weren’t enjoyable to work for. I remember one in particular that I was actually afraid of. I did everything to avoid that person because I knew he didn’t care about me as a person. He would readily sacrifice me to do what he wanted to get done.

After I left that assignment in Turkey, I thought I had applied the lesson of Mission First, People Always. But, I learned later I hadn’t done so. I was a whole lot more career driven than I was willing to admit. My unspoken mission was to be a success in my career. I share this to my shame and I believe I’ve now changed. But, we lived in Guatemala for a time. My wife and I started talking about maybe adopting a child there.  After I thought about it, I said that I believed it might hurt my career having a child that was so different from us. So, we didn’t adopt.  I grieve my attitude back then. But, clearly it was more about the mission (my career), than about people (a little child whom we could have helped greatly). My wife later graciously and lovingly confronted me on that attitude, which helped me in the process of change.

Career is important. You’ve got to make money in order to live. But, it is not and should not be more important that people. That’s what I love about Jesus. He loved people. He put them above his wants and desires. It was about people…always. I think that’s what John, the Beloved Apostle, who experienced the love of Jesus first hand meant when he said, John 3:16 (AMP) For God so greatly loved and dearly prized the world (that’s people; you and I) that He [even] gave up His only begotten (unique) Son, so that whoever believes in (trusts in, clings to, relies on) Him shall not perish (come to destruction, be lost) but have eternal (everlasting) life.

God always loves people; he puts them first by giving up his son for them. That’s a great example of how we should be.

I’ve been out of commission.

May 2013 was a very stressful time for our family. There were several health issues that popped up with family members thatImage we love very much. After that stressful time, I’ve not felt much like blogging. But, June has allowed me to recuperate. I’m ready to get back at it. 

At this point in my life, I’m a full time pastor/church planter. But, this hasn’t always been my vocation. I was a soldier in the U.S. Army for 22 years. No, I was not a chaplain. I was an Artilleryman or a “Redleg.” God called me into pastoring in my last years of serving my Lord while I served the country.  What I plan to do over the next several blog posts is take some leadership lessons I learned in my time in the Army and discuss how those lessons have worked out in the church world.

I will tell you. I’m not sure I would have been prepared for what I’m doing now without those 22 years of preparation in the Army. I’m thankful to God that he allowed me to grow and mature in him, before he called me into pastoral ministry.

I’ll publish my next blog post, “They’re not soldiers,” in the coming days. Until then, have a great Independence Day and always remember that “Freedom isn’t free.”

 

Son of a…

I certainly don’t remember being three years old. At the time my father was serving in the U.S. Army in Oklahoma. I’m told we attended church regularly and that my dad was a Sunday school teacher. Well one evening my parents invited the pastor of the church over for dinner.  My dad went to pick him up and bring him to the house.  He took me with him.  Now this was before seat belts and I was standing between my father and the pastor in the front seat. All of a sudden, a car jumped out from a side street and almost hit us. My father swerved to miss him.  I yelled out, “Son of a B_____.”

Now obviously I didn’t know what that meant at 3 years of age. But, yes I had heard it before. It was actually one of my dad’s favorite curse words.  I remember hearing it later as I grew up.  Well, needless to say, my dad was embarrassed. I’m not sure what the pastor thought.

Parents be careful what you say.  You may not think you’re being listened to, but you are. Make sure it’s something you wouldn’t mind having repeated.  Parents be careful what you do because your children are watching you. Check out this video (here) on the subject by Veracity Project.

Philippians 3:17 (NIV)  Join with others in following my example, brothers, and take note of those who live according to the pattern we gave you.

Let’s make sure that pattern is a good and godly one.